What Is Old Is New Again

I like listening to AOL Radio while I'm cooking dinner. I'm kind of bummed, because they seemed to have dropped the "Global Beats" station, which I really enjoyed. Tonight, I opted for the 80s channel. The first songs I heard were:

"Love Is A Battlefield" by Pat Benetar.

"Footloose" by Kenny Loggins.

"California Girls" by David Lee Roth.

"Venus" by Bananarama.

(The links on the left take you to the videos, should you wish to stagger down memory lane.)

OK, so the third and fourth songs are from the 60s. The second was re-made into a movie this year.

I also found it amusing that a few songs later they played "Wild Thing" by Tone-Loc and "Hungry Eyes" by Eric Carmen. The former has nothing to do with the Troggs hit, other than sharing the title. Still... 

And the latter was from a guy who was a 70s has-been.

Funny.

Another Small Victory

The other day, I mentioned that I made the "top 10" in agent Rachelle Gardner's blog, asking for the best answer to, "How many agents does it take to change a light bulb?"

I also entered agent Janet Reid's latest 100-word contest. My entry:

"So, a witch, a werewolf, and a ghost walk into a bar. And the werewolf says, am I hairy, or is it hot in here?"

Uproarious laughter.

I had sworn off doing stand-up for the zombie crowd. But a few Benjamins waved under my nose, and they were unforsaken. The pay was good, though the audiences could be dead. And in varying states of decay. If they don't kill you, the deadly, insalubrious air of the club will.

"You guys slay me. Take my life, please..." As they began their trudge to the stage, I thought, Bad choice of words.

was named a semi-finalist.

My friend Bill also got an honorable mention for his.

OK, so maybe this isn't a direct line to a Pulitzer. Still...

Castle: "Demons"

There was a lot of like about this week's episode of "Castle."

Though the show rarely has a "straight line" plot, this one, I felt, really was like peeling back the layers of an onion. At first, it was just about the ghost hunter and a chance, bad encounter of some sort. Then we learn that he was from New York, and that the McLaren house always creeped him out. Then we meet the (faux??) psychic named Mercedes, aka "Mercy," which just happened to be the last thing the victim said before he died. Then comes the revelation that he had been having dreams about the place, and consulted Mercy for help in uncovering a real, repressed memory. Finally, they wrapped it up by tying that memory back to the last (of many) deaths in the building.

I also enjoyed "the looks." Since I don't watch much TV (well, any other TV), I can't say whether other shows get the actors to express themselves so much with their faces. But the players on "Castle" really do. Looking back at the previous episode, I loved it when Castle did a spit-take, and Ryan glanced up and to the right, watching the spray. Notable "looks" this week:

• Alexis's "WTF" look when Castle had just finished telling her it sent the wrong message to rearrange her life around Ashley, and then rushing off because Beckett called.
• Castle's "yes" look when Beckett said "I ain't afraid of no ghosts."
• Lanie's burn when Ryan's fiancee asked, "When are you two going to get married?" and when Castle asked, "How was the date?"
• And finally, Beckett's skeptical look, every time Castle brought up a paranormal theory. Of course, she gets to use that look a lot.

And finally, I really thought they made good use of cultural references: "Ghostbusters," "Scooby-Doo," and "Poltergeist."

Top 10

Another of the agents whose blog I follow is Rachelle Gardner. She recently ran a contest: come up with the best answer to "How many agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

My entry:

Only one. The problem is, the publisher asks her to change it again. And again. And again…

Though I didn't win, I made the "honorable mention" list.

I hear that 70% of Pulitzer Prize winners started this way.

Query Draft...Please Comment!

OK, so I don't often explicitly ask anyone to comment on my posts. But this time, I am.  I'm working on a new project. It's a thriller. I'm not quite to the querying-an-agent stage yet. But I soon will be. So I would like your opinion of the following:

Tommy's heart was racing, beating fast, like a million times a second. He should have been doing something normal, like sitting at home studying for a test or making out with a cheerleader. Instead, he was standing on the cornice of a church, 50 feet in the air, staring into the glowing red eyes of the monster, waiting for it to charge.

“Why am I doing this?” he asked himself? “Oh yeah, it’s my monster, created through my thoughts. So I need to take care of it.”

The demon let out a roar, a sound he had heard all too often over the past week.

“But why can’t I just let the police handle it? Well, I guess the fact that it can see through my eyes, and hear what I’m saying, has something to do with my sense of personal responsibility and urgency.”

Looking back over the murderous events of past week, Tommy realized that he should have listened to the critics and his own gut, both of which had said that dream manipulation was dangerous, and could produce unexpected consequences. Well, the consequence--all seven feet of it--was at this moment staring into his eyes and flexing its claws.

Remember: Dreams sometimes can go astray, and when they do, that's what we call...

NIGHTMARES is a YA magical realism novel, complete at 70,000 words.

(In case you didn't know, YA stands for young adult.)

Obviously, you know nothing about the book. But neither will an agent. Does it grab your attention? Does it make you want to know more about it? If this were on the back cover, would you crack the book and start reading? Is there something else you would like to know?

I would really appreciate your input!

Most Terrifying Contest Ever!

In the past, I've made reference to the blog of literary agent Janet Reid. She frequently runs a contest: write a 100-word short story, using specific words.

This week's list:

UNFORSAKEN
DEADLY
WITCH
GHOST
DECAY
SLAY
Bonus points if you also use the word "Insalubrious"

Here is my entry.

"So, a witch, a werewolf, and a ghost walk into a bar. And the werewolf says, am I hairy, or is it hot in here?"

Uproarious laughter.

I had sworn off doing stand-up for the zombie crowd. But a few Benjamins waved under my nose, and they were unforsaken. The pay was good, though the audiences could be dead. And in varying states of decay. If they don't kill you, the deadly, insalubrious air of the club will.

"You guys slay me. Take my life, please..." As they began their trudge to the stage, I thought, Bad choice of words.

At the time of this posting, she has 110 entries. Wish me luck.

Little Literary Rant

In the downtown business district where I live, there is an astrologer / card reader / psychic. The sign in the window says, "No appointment necessary."

If she's that good, I shouldn't need one.

And a few doors down is a hair salon. They have a sign: "Walk-ins receive a 20% discount."

How else does one get into a hair salon?

More Poetree: "All In The Name Of Regress"

I had a dickens of a time getting a photo I liked. The other day as I was taking the kids to day care, I passed under a series of wires, as I do every day. There was a morning fog with the sun filtering through. I think it would have made a spectacular pic. Why I didn't stop...I'll never know.

Of course, I suppose a misty morning will happen again, and I can get it then. But for now, this works.

All In The Name Of Regress

In 2003,
a tree
touched electricity,
and we
sat dumbly,
idly,
in antiquity
(no TV
or PCs)
for 43
hours.
We cowered
until the powers
that be
called the sawers
to cut the boughs
away from the towers.
Regrettably,
fait accompli.
But, what's one less squirrel bower
if we
can guarantee
that we
would never see
the delivery
of our energy
interrupted by something as unlikely,
anti-
technology,
and utterly
unnecessary
as a tree?

Castle: "Kick The Ballistics"

I could get used to writing something about "Castle" each week.

I enjoyed this week's episode. Of course. I liked that this show built upon a previous one, and that the story arc is still not finished, one would assume. I'm not saying a show should be a complete serial, like "Twin Peaks" or "Lost." But having one or two continuing threads keeps the viewer on his toes.

It was nice to see the focus on Ryan. Too many shows devolve into The Star(s), and the spare parts.

At one point, Ryan tells Beckett about the dumbest thing he ever had done as a cop: he had called out the name of a narc informant in the middle of the squad room, which at the time was full of busted drug dealers. Five minutes later, Beckett reveals the name of the undercover cop (he went by "Seth;" I forget the detective's real name) to Mr. Lee, head of a crime family. What's up with that? Careless mistake? Or was she setting him up?

On the downside, they did something that I had seen on several episodes of "Law & Order," which always made me shake my head way back when. In the L&O episode I'm thinking of, the police find a woman who has been tortured to within an inch of death. She's alive, but she's not yet able to talk to them. So they question her ex-husband. His alibi is that he was with a buddy at some high-society fundraiser. The next scene shows (we assume, then learn) the buddy walking out of his swank tennis club, talking back over his shoulder to the police officers. "Yeah, he was with me that night until around 2:00 a.m. Blah, blah, blah." As he gets into his car, one of the officers asks, "Do you know who could have done this?" "No," he says. "And I hope I never meet him. He sounds like one sick bastard." And then he drives off. And I remember thinking, "Well, I see you have decided that the police are done. I hope they feel the same way." The same thing happened on "Castle." At some point, the bar owner says, "You can wait for Seth. I've got to get to work." And then he walks away.

Finally, I liked the surprise ending. If I can some day convince someone that it's worth it to publish "Tarantulas On Leashes," "Swarm Summer Nights," Udopia,"and especially No Strings Attached, you'll see what I mean.

"Fire," My First Example Of "Poetree"

On Labor Day, my family and I visited the Geauga County Fair. On the way there--along Route 87 and incidentally almost across the road from where I went to summer camp--I saw an old, barkless tree. I thought it looked like a skeleton hand. As my mind ran over the image, I thought it would make a good poem. I thought about it a little more, and realized that having the picture, and then writing the poem, would be even better. I thought still more, and came up with a few other ideas for poems which just needed an appropriate tree, and I saw some trees which I thought would make a good poem. 

I still need to get a picture of the skeleton hands tree. I'm working on the poem. But I have several photos, and several poems, in progress.

But below is the first that have both image and words, together and completed.

Fire

The waning vestiges of summer sun
Pass fire to the leaves when autumn comes.
The longer rays give way to shorter days.
No longer sky, but Earth which seems ablaze.
In crimson, copper, auburn, orange, saffron
The palette of the summer sun lives on.

As always, comments are welcome.

Castle: "Head Case"

"Castle" is my favorite show. Actually, it's the only show we watch. So by definition, I think it has to be my favorite.

Though the interplay between the two main characters is great, at the risk of forfeiting my "hetero card," I watch the show more for Castle than for Beckett.

I like Nathan Fillion as an actor. IMHO, no one else could be Castle. I think his expressions and delivery are great. Stana Katic is good, too, of course, though I think she looked better with her season one short hair. Plus, as a cop, it makes more sense to have short hair...it gives the bad guys one less thing to grab on to. For that same reason, if you saw Monday's episode, you'll notice that Ryan removed his tie before they went on their first raid. My buddy the cop wears a clip-on for that very reason.

Speaking of Monday's show, we actually got to watch it live, which hasn't happened in...gosh, I can't remember how long. Of course, when you have a DVR, why watch something live?

So I thought I'd share a few thoughts, good, bad, indifferent. There are no spoilers per se, though I do discuss some tidbits.

- I like William Atherton. Usually he plays complete jerks--and he's very good at it. So I liked this role...25% jerk, 70% businessman who believes in his enterprise, 5% likeable.
- When they first visited the cryo-lab, Beckett had on heels that were at least 4" high. Yeah, perfect for chasing a suspect. (Yes, another hetero warning.)
- The pigeon with the .45 slug in it? I'm sorry. I'm not a ballistics expert, but I'm pretty certain that if you shot a pigeon with a .45, there would no longer be a pigeon.

- I always am amused by fiction (or for that matter, reality) which involves the cryonic preservation of humans, until "modern medicine can cure their illness." Ted Williams has been frozen, though I believe it was his son who actually did it. Don't these people realize that if they are revived 200 years in the future, they won't even be qualified to be garbage collectors in the "new world?" They'll be primitives.

Also, I thought it was funny that Alexis brought up the rejection letter which Castle has framed and hanging on the wall, a plot element which may or may not have been brought up before. (I'd never seen or heard about it.) Prior to learning of the letter, I had concocted the following snippet of dialogue.

Castle: "Do you have any idea what it's like to pour your heart and soul into something, send it off to a complete stranger, wait in agony, and then receive a rejection letter? Because you don't see it as a rejection of the novel. You see it as a rejection of you. They're not saying your writing stinks. They're saying you stink."
Ryan: "Wow. How did you handle that?"
Castle: "Handle what?"
Ryan: "The rejection letter."
Castle: "I don't know. It never happened to me. I had five publishers engaged in a bidding war over my first manuscript. But I've heard it happens."

So what did you think of the show?

Seese 1, Dishwasher 0

Or maybe dishwasher 1/2...

This post has nothing to do with writing, since there are a few things in life (very few, in my mind) which do not involve writing.

We bought a new dishwasher nearly three years ago. Over the course of that first year, it would behave "badly." Specifically, sporadically the lid to the soap container would not open during the course of the wash cycle. I assumed it was just sticking, since the next time it would open.

In hindsight, as it neared the one-year (read: warranty expiration) mark, I suppose I should have called for a service tech. But I didn't want to say, "I guess we'll have to run a complete cycle, and see if it opens. If it doesn't, we'll just have to try again."

I probably should have done that, though, because some time after year one, it stopped opening entirely. The pre-rinse soap still made it into the cycle. But the main rinse has been water only since then.

I stopped at a parts store last winter, and described what I needed. But the only thing that he had cost $150, and could not be returned once opened. And, he really wasn't sure that what he pulled off the shelf truly was what I was asking for. Since I was periodically getting those "extend your warranty" letters--and it cost about $120--I started considering that.

Sometime over the summer, I took it all apart, took OUT the offending piece, and lubricated everything in the hope that would fix it. No dice. But I at least had the foresight to write down the part number.

Last week, while cleaning my desk, I came across the piece of paper with the part number on it. I Googled that number, and the first website returned had it for $31, plus taxes and shipping. The part arrived two days later. I put it in yesterday, and ran the dishes overnight. (Our washer has a "four-hour" delay feature, which I think is really cool.)

AND IT WORKED!

Damn, I'm good!