Random Thoughts...

By Michael Seese

The other day my wife successfully used Coca Cola to remove the burn marks from the bottom of a pan. If it can remove scorched on carbon, imagine what it does to your stomach.

Not that I want to hear "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" anymore. But why is every song remotely connected to winter a Christmas song? "Walking In A Winter Wonderland," "Sleigh Ride," and even "Jingle Bells" have nothing to do with Christmas. In fact, looking out the window right now, I can see snow. So those songs are timely. But they've been banished from the airwaves until Thanksgiving, or maybe Halloween.

Why is a 4 x 8 sheet of plywood...well...4 feet by 8 feet, but a 2 x 4 is 1.5 inches by 3.5 inches?

I just noticed that a box of Pop Tarts on our shelf is nearing its expiration date. I didn't know Pop Tarts had an expiration date. (At least those not named Britney.) In fact, I thought that cockroaches and Pop Tarts would be the only things to survive a nuclear war. (I would have said Twinkies, but...)

Let me state up front that I think DWI (driving while intexticated) is idiotic. But...many municipalities have banned talking on a cell phone while driving. So why haven't they banned talking to someone in the car?

This anecdote represents a new level of politically correct idiocy. I've been ranting about this one all over the place. A Utah high school can't name its team the "Cougars" (the choice of the students, by popular vote) because of that word's connection to middle-aged women. I guess horny old women are now a protected legal entity.