100 More Words; Dragon, Part 2

In previous posts, I've made reference to literary agent Janet Reid, and her blog-based writing contests. The mission: to create a short story of 100 words, using five key words. This time, they were:

Red
Fold
Chaos
Bent
Chasm

I decided to try dictating it. What Dragon "heard" was:

My leg was bent at a 45° angle, and I was staring at a red chasm where my normally linear femur was. I'm sure the pain was excruciating. But in the ensuing chaos that enveloped me it was swallowed up. I attacked sequencing just begun and my fellow patrons were suffering similar fates. First there was 3-D. Then there was some elevation. But I think the cinematic experience pain over, it's not going to catch on. And to think I paid an extra 10 bucks for this.

What I said was:

My leg was bent at a 45° angle, and I was staring at a red chasm where my normally linear femur was. I'm sure the pain was excruciating. But in the ensuing chaos that enveloped me it was swallowed up. The attack sequence had just begun and my fellow patrons were suffering similar fates. First there was 3-D. Then there was Smell-O-Vision. But I think the cinematic experience Pain-O-Rama is not going to catch on. And to think I paid an extra 10 bucks for this.

Not bad. I would call that better than 90%, especially if you factor out Smell-O-Vision and Pain-O-Rama. (And I'll bet that if I had said "smell (pause) oh (pause) vision" the program would have gotten it right.)

The final version turned out to be

My left leg was bent at a 45° angle, and I was staring at a red chasm where my normally linear femur usually was. My right leg was completely folded beneath me. I'm sure the pain was excruciating. But it was lost in the ensuing chaos which had swallowed us all up. The attack sequence had begun, and my fellow patrons were suffering similar fates. First, there was 3-D. Then there was Smell-O-Vision. But I predict that this latest cinematic “experience,” Pain-O-Rama, is not going to catch on.

And to think I paid an extra 10 bucks for this.

In summary, I'm very pleased.

Alas, I didn't win the contest.

This time!