By Michael Seese
I really do. Not because I operate under some misguided notion that my words are so perfect that they can't be improved upon. Quite the contrary, I'm so picky and fastidious that I usually write three steps forward, two steps back. As a result, by the time I've finished the darn thing and really have to go back to the beginning and re-read and revise, I've read some of the earlier passages dozens of times.
But, as I mentioned yesterday, that's what I need to do since Fiona recommended some pretty big changes. And you know what...
To provide specifics on what Fiona had suggested, she said:
Chapter two and three felt like a disconnect from chapter one. Perhaps it's because you go from an immediate scene in chapter one into a flashback scene in chapter two and three (which is technically what is happening, because if I'm not wrong you are going back in time here). I'm actually wondering if it would be better to start with the action scene and continue on from there chronologically. I know there is a lot of information and back story you want to work in from chapter two and three, but I'm thinking it might need to be sprinkled through your story like good seasoning instead.
I managed to trim about 1,800 words, and moved chapter 4 to chapter 2. There is still about 4 pages of flashback between them; but that's a lot better than 20.
Let's see what she thinks.
(Naturally, I graciously allowed her extra time for the holidays.)