Saturday, March 22, 2014

SPAM Tennis, Part 2

By Michael Seese

Two posts back, I recounted my adventures in the world of Singaporian (is that a word?) finance. To be exact, I had received an email from Mr. Cham Tao Soon of Chairman Audit Committee of UOB Bank, Singapore with an offer to "lay claims" to a secret account worth millions." In this case, the money belonged to Mr. Dimka Ilkovska-Boskovic, who was a member of Macedonian President Boris Trajkovski's cabinet, who perished along with the President in a plane crash.

Mr. Soon and I exchanged pleasantries, as well as sensitive documents. At the time of my last post, he was traveling on business. After a few days, I thought I would touch base, since that's what friends do. 

Dear Mr. Soon --
 I hope your travels have been productive. I look forward to hearing from you so that we may continue our enterprise.


He replied:

I see the phone number you give to me as yours turns out to be the fax number for Russian online visa application. Thanks for the time wasting.
Office in Moscow
 Address: 107014 Moscow, Zhebrunova Street 6, Office 117
 Phone: 7-495-505-6325
 Fax: 7-495-649-8328

Wow! He checks references? Bummer. I had so many fun responses planned for his inevitable request for good-faith money. It really was going to be a tennis match. Oh well. I answered nonetheless.

 Dear Mr. Cham --

Or should that be "Sham?" Or perhaps "Scam?"

I'd hardly call it time wasting. I had a lot of fun imagining how excited you must have been to think you actually had a sucker on the line.

Tchau, mother-----r.


I chose the sign-off "tchau," as is it goodbye in Brazilian Portuguese. If you'll recall from the previous post, the original email came from the .br top-level domain. I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, he really was from Brazil, and would think, "How did he know...?"

A few days later I got this, in the same mailbox. (Bear in mind, my dear friend Cham was the only person who knew of it, and I can't imagine him "sharing" it with anyone.)

I think the moral of the story is obvious. If you're hiding untold illegally obtained millions, don't fly. The odds are you will crash.

I responded to this one with "Nice try, (expletive deleted)." 

Until next time crime fighters. 


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