Thursday, March 3, 2016

Castle: Dead Red

by Michael Seese

I think I would subtitle "Dead Red" as "A Tale Of Two Castles." I could have used "Crime And Punishment," but that would have been two easy.

The first half was funny. The second, not so much so. (Though no less effective.)

The opening scene was hilarious, once you got past the throat-slitting murder that is. In fact, I had trouble keeping up with all the zingers flying about as Castle is showing Martha and Alexis his prospective baby shower gifts.


Alexis: "No." 
Martha: "Is that a bullet-proof baby...."
Alexis: "It's completely inappropriate."
Castle: "Then you're going to hate the onesie that says, 'I'm with Officer Stupid.' "


Castle: "What's wrong with Leonard Cohen lullabies?"
Martha: "It's more Silence Of The Lambs than Mary Had A Little Lamb."

Castle: "Do you have any idea how hard it is to find machine-washable Kevlar?"

Castle: "Why didn't you tell me this before I went shopping?"
Martha: "Because we would have so missed torturing you. You are our favorite reality show."

Castle: "Because Beckett asked for some time. So I'm giving it to her. Every day. Sometimes twice..."

Not quite a line, but I loved Sergei's term "Diplobrats."

Esposito: "So it's like catch and release, without the cooler full of beer?"

Castle: "If Boris is coming, can Natasha be far behind?"

Vasiliy: "Beckett without Castle is like Boris without Natasha, or Starsky without the Hutch."

I suppose there was more to the show than just the lines.

Minor SPOILERS follow.

Aside from the aforementioned gift scene, I really enjoyed Vasiliy's interrogation of Frank / Anatoly. He set it up (menacingly) well, touching together the sponge-tipped jumper cables. But then Castle jumped in and pleaded for time to break the riddle; Vasiliy generously agreed to 60 seconds, which he counted down rather emphatically.

I also thought the ending played out well. Sergei's cool confidence as he explained that he was being recalled to Moscow. Vasiliy's glee as he explained the plot twists of the Nikki Heat / Ice Cold thriller, which culminated in (I couldn't catch the name of the obscure Russian outpost) a place so cold you have to heat the ground for four days to bury a body. (Of course, if it's that cold, why bother?)

As an aside, I wonder whether at some point Sergei could have been arrested. Though he had diplomatic immunity, Beckett said that doesn't apply if the crime is murder. And though the Russian Embassy is technically Russian soil, what about the staff car which would have driven him to the airport? And, JFK certainly would not have been a safe haven. Oh well.

All in all, pretty good.

Please share your thoughts on "Dead Red."

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