Sunday, March 11, 2018

Janet Flash: Male To Order

by Michael Seese

To celebrate the arrival of Clay, the latest office cat, Janet sponsored another contest.

Our words for the week:


So to go give you a little insight into the method for my madness (or badness, depending on the day), I usually try to work around the "hardest" word in the bunch. At times a name can be hard, because it forces you to have a character, or refer to a character, with that name. (Unless you can split it, or bury it in another word, like using "tomato" for "Tom.") Tablet was kind of hard for me as well. As I was driving to pick up my daughter from gymnastics, I turned over tablet and Henry in my mind. About halfway there it clicked, and I pretty much had it mentally written by the time I got her.

Below is "Male To Order."

Her tablet’s face scarred from an endless stream of swipes left, Janet readied her emotional white flag yet again. "Gustav" signaled an end to the Gs. She pressed on.

And then...


Six feet even. Adorable pug nose. Cleft chin. Sandy hair. Clearly modeled on Brad Pitt. The brown eyes wouldn't do. "They have to be blue," she said to no one, her de facto companion of 25 years. The "Kids? Maybe" package seemed worth a few extra bucks.

With a satisfied tap Janet submitted the order, lit a fire, poured two glasses of Cabernet, and waited for the delivery.

I wonder how long it will be until we can mail-order a mate? Hmmm.

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