Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Janet Flash: Eggasperation

by Michael Seese

With the world on lockdown, what is there to do? For some, re-discovering the joy of cooking is an option. Or learning something new about cooking, like "How To Boil Water." (Correctly, being the issue, I suppose.)

Super agent Janet Reid, an avowed lover of the 101 Things I Learned... series, decided to create a flash fiction contest to mark the Second Edition of 101 Things I Learned in Culinary School. (Ergo, the aforementioned boiling water reference.)

The recipe called for us to use:



in a 100-word short story. I wanted to split up chef, and tried ideas like "the leech effect." But I couldn't come up with anything around that, or other word combos. So finally, while walking the dog late Saturday night I came up with "eggsistential," and used that to write "Eggasperation."

Both my coffee cup and stomach effiercingly barren, I willed my eyes to force down the next stale morsel of "knowledge."

"Jean-Paul Salt, a close friend of Francis Bacon, examines man's true eggsistential dilemma in his classic work..."

My red pen adorned and scorned the top of the page with a scarlet letter F.

"Consider Occam's Butter Knife, a bread-and-grape-jelly example of…"

I rubbed my own bleary eyes, and dashed off a quick missive. 

Dear Dean HAMmond,
I would like to respectfully request that, going forward, the university schedule Philosophy 101 at some time other than 8:00 a.m.

How about you? What new skills are you learning these days?

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