Sunday, July 19, 2020

Janet Flash: Currency Events

by Michael Seese

A few weeks back, agent Janet Reid posted a flash fiction contest that employed a prompt outside of her standard "use these 5 words" requirement. I entered, but didn't get a chance to post here, because of my busy mid-COVID life. I'll rectify that in a few days. 

Last Friday, she gave us another alt-contest.

After a recent blog entry showing a bear in someone's back yard, one of Janet's followers posted

I’m guessing this story didn’t run in the Flathead Beacon Police Blotter. With items like, “The golfer on the sixth green at a local course turned out to be a black bear,” it’s one of my favorite newsfeed subscriptions.

Janet thought it would be fun to have a contest asking us to write an item for Flathead Beacon Police Blotter

Being a former newsman and police beat reporter, I figured this was in my wheelhouse. But I couldn't find the inspiration Friday or Saturday. Then, with the 9:00 a.m. Sunday deadline looming, lying in bed at 7:30 I composed "Currency Events."

Local noted numismatist Penelope "Penny" Reed died yesterday in the parlor of her Roosevelt Avenue home. 

Police suspect foul play to be involved, as Ms. Reed’s body was discovered with 96 Morgan Dollars crammed into her mouth. No other weapons were found, as Ms. Reed was widely known to have an abnormal fear of hammers, baseball bats, tubas, and other blunt instruments. 

According to Police Chief Lincoln Nichols, "Clearly the killer understood the old adage. If you can't beat 'em, coin 'em."

Services will be held at the Washington and Jefferson Funeral Home.

The trick was to come up with the punchline, and then work my way back. 

Enjoy the rest of your hot, muggy (here, at least) Sunday.

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