Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Let's Put It To A Vote

By Michael Seese

A "micropoem" I wrote has been selected for inclusion in the upcoming issue of Poetry Nook Magazine. The editor made a suggestion for a text change. I'm not sure if I like it better than the original, or not.

So I thought I would put it to a vote.

The two versions differ by only one word (technically, one letter) and one piece of punctuation. I won't say whose is whose. 

They are:

as much as i try
i cannot unshatter
the glass of my life


OR

as much as i try
i cannot unshatter
the glass, or my life



Please leave a comment as to which you prefer.

Which "unshatter" is the right one? Click to tweet.

3 comments:

  1. I guess it depends on what it is you're trying to say. Is your life made of glass? Then the first one works. If you broke a glass and reflect it as being your life, then the second one makes sense. Hope that helps.

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  2. I rather like the first one better, but the second one is good too. I agree with Stacy, it depends on what you want. The second one has me thinking of a man who broke a vase and is staring at it, about to break down, and he's thinking the lines if the poem (he already is a depressed man). I love the poem, by the way! Really powerful, and I'm not just saying that to say it. It's going to haunt my mind for a few hours, and I love the prose :) On second thought, I like second version better! It gives more of a story behind it. The first one sounds lyrically better, though.

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    Replies
    1. To follow up: I went with the first, as you all opined. FYI, that's the one the editor suggested.

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